Damn You Musical Theater...This Time You've Gone Too Far!!

First there were musicals. I enjoy the catchy tunes and the fact that everyone knows all the words in seemingly spontaneous outbursts of song.

Then, there were "Juke Box" musicals. I cringe at the thought of which band will whore themselves out to Broadway - I'm thinking we're probably going to see a Rolling Stones musical sometime soon. (exception: I have hope that the Flaming Lips will blow our collective minds when they turn Yoshimi into a musical. That said, I think it will be unlike anything yet to hit the stage.)

Now, the Athleti-bio musical. David Beckham's life (so far) is going to transformed into an all-singing, all-dancing Broadway spectacular. Move over Godspell, David Beckham: The Theater of Dreams is going to be fueled by "gospel like rock" and will chronicle his rise to stardom and his spicy (get it?! yay) romance with Posh. I'm sure it will include his move to LA (backed by the song "You say soccer, I say football") and his ever changing hairstyles ("I feel pretty").

Mark Archer (of In the Company of Men fame) is in pitch mode to get this steaming pile of musical on the stage in London's West End. I imagine every fame-seeking stage hopeful will be doing sit ups and bleaching their hair from now until casting is announced.

What happened to original stories and music again? I guess if it's dead in Hollywood (thanks, remake of Miami Vice) it's dead on the stage too....