Beyonce Goes Beyond

Beyonce is dropping her new double album tomorrow titled I Am...Shasha Fierce. The album will showcase 2 sides of Beyonce - her soft & sensitive raw side, and her booty shakin' sista side. I'm assuming we'll get hit with double single releases, as we have already. If I Were a Boy has Beyonce pouring her heart out in a solid ballad about heart break, wishing the ex knew how it felt to be in her shoes. The flip side All the Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) is an all out foot-stomper. I defy you not to shake your ass as she celebrates new found freedom and being seen out after the breakup. 2 sides to the same situation. 

Supporting these singles are amazing, old school music videos. YouTube has them viewed at well over the 5 million mark. And All The Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) is such a cool fosse tribute, and it will bend your mind as you try to decide if Beyonce's moves are sexy or a full body seizure.

But it's sad the Beyonce is falling into this alternate persona gimmick like others before her. The one that comes to mind is Chris Gaines. Who? I bet you forgot too, just like Beyonce did. Chris Gaines was Garth Brooks' alternative rocker persona, complete with self-titled CD (the Garth Brooks official site won't even acknowledge it in his discography) and fictional biography. The character just served to confuse & frustrate fans with fake appearances on SNL & Behind the Music, and quickly died out. 

Sasha Fierce may suffer the same fate if Beyonce takes herself too seriously with it. And, by the publicity shots of her, I think she is. B has been seen rockin' her metal glove on the red carpet. Which means she's selling it...hard. 

At worst, Beyonce will need to bounce back from Sasha like Mr. Brooks. At best, she's just expanding on Mariah's success with Mimi.

SNL: So Not Laughing

While Tina Fey provided a much-needed boost for Saturday Night Live, she also left them with their pants down. The spotlight is so hot on SNL these days. They're riding some nice Thursday night Weekend Update time, and NBC even gave them a 9:30 slot on Saturday night. Confusing? Yes. But still a good opportunity. 

More confusing? The SNL writers couldn't capitalize on the attention and actually break out some funny sketches. Even with Paul Rudd, one of the best comedic actors out there, SNL fell seriously flat last week. The highlight was the answer to the question "How do we fill 3 minutes of Weekend Update without Amy?": Get Justin Timberlake to do anything. Maybe JT should moonlight as a writer? 

Check out one of the more flat sketches (one that 'could' have been funny). 

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The opinion of this aspiring sketch writer? Utilize Bill Heder & Will Forts more. Don't put Andy in a supporting role, let him do a character! When he's given a supporting role, we're all just watching to see what he's going to do. When it's nothing, he's just wallpaper. 

TV is Back...with a Vengence!

I've been on vacation, and now, I'm on a catch-up media binge. As soon as I'm through the most recent premieres, I'll get some reviews out. Until then, check out the Fall TV premier schedule that the good people at TV Addict put together.

What are my hopes pinned on?

- The Office (NBC)

- Fringe (Fox - and it's a JJ Abrhams joint)

- How I Met Your Mother (CBS)

- Big Bang Theory (CBS)

- 30 Rock (NBC)

- Heroes (NBC)

...plus I'll be pining for LOST (ABC) until February

Just When You Thought You Got Your TV Back...

You thought, "phew, the Olympics are over! Phelps, we'll see you in 4...now back to my regularly scheduled programming."

But you were wrong.

Your viewing pleasures will be interrupted - this time on every network, not just NBC - for National Convention Craziness. The buzz has started already. This morning's Today Show featured the complete rundown of security in Denver (snipers included) for the Democratic National Convention (where the stars come out to play politics). Next week, we'll see the same insanity for the Republicans.

After it's all over, we'll be treated to new episodes of Heroes (9/22), 30 Rock (not until 10/30? Blurg!), and How I Met Your Mother (9/22, where teen stars get reborn). Until then, NBC has been kind enough to keep you away from their advertisers with gems like 'America's Got Talent' and 'Deal or No Deal'. At least CBS and ABC are kind enough to serve up reruns and bizarre Japanese game show rip offs.

Best Title to a Blog Post...Ever

No, really.
http://thesuperficial.com/2008/08/kerri_walsh_wants_aids_to_butt.php

Unfamiliar with The Superficial? Put down your copy of the Wall Street Journal, ya square!

Damn You Musical Theater...This Time You've Gone Too Far!!

First there were musicals. I enjoy the catchy tunes and the fact that everyone knows all the words in seemingly spontaneous outbursts of song.

Then, there were "Juke Box" musicals. I cringe at the thought of which band will whore themselves out to Broadway - I'm thinking we're probably going to see a Rolling Stones musical sometime soon. (exception: I have hope that the Flaming Lips will blow our collective minds when they turn Yoshimi into a musical. That said, I think it will be unlike anything yet to hit the stage.)

Now, the Athleti-bio musical. David Beckham's life (so far) is going to transformed into an all-singing, all-dancing Broadway spectacular. Move over Godspell, David Beckham: The Theater of Dreams is going to be fueled by "gospel like rock" and will chronicle his rise to stardom and his spicy (get it?! yay) romance with Posh. I'm sure it will include his move to LA (backed by the song "You say soccer, I say football") and his ever changing hairstyles ("I feel pretty").

Mark Archer (of In the Company of Men fame) is in pitch mode to get this steaming pile of musical on the stage in London's West End. I imagine every fame-seeking stage hopeful will be doing sit ups and bleaching their hair from now until casting is announced.

What happened to original stories and music again? I guess if it's dead in Hollywood (thanks, remake of Miami Vice) it's dead on the stage too....

What if They Made It: Beyonce & Gwyneth Paltrow?

The new, highly controversial Feria (from Loreal Paris) ad has Beyonce roots lightened - and obviously I don't just mean her hair. Not only is she Michael Jackson-ized, but is that even her nose? None of Beyonce's people have issued a comment, and I doubt we should even expect one. Unfortunately, her picture is essentially Loreal's to manipulate (as is usual for these kind of contracts). If they weren't paying her $4.7 Million for about 10 days of work, she might be a little more vocal about it. For that much cash I'd let them make me look like this.

But how did this get through the art department? Didn't the creative director say "hey, isn't this supposed to be super star soul sister Beyonce - not the newest cast member of Desperate Housewhites?" Loreal denies changing the color. Is it a case of bad photoshop skills (like when you start fiddling with the color values so much that you think it looks great - but in reality you and all your friends look bright red)? Doubtful. Loreal is kidding themselves if they expect us to think they don't manipulate their advertising. By now, we've all seen the Dove video, we know how these things go down.