Just When You Thought You Got Your TV Back...

You thought, "phew, the Olympics are over! Phelps, we'll see you in 4...now back to my regularly scheduled programming."

But you were wrong.

Your viewing pleasures will be interrupted - this time on every network, not just NBC - for National Convention Craziness. The buzz has started already. This morning's Today Show featured the complete rundown of security in Denver (snipers included) for the Democratic National Convention (where the stars come out to play politics). Next week, we'll see the same insanity for the Republicans.

After it's all over, we'll be treated to new episodes of Heroes (9/22), 30 Rock (not until 10/30? Blurg!), and How I Met Your Mother (9/22, where teen stars get reborn). Until then, NBC has been kind enough to keep you away from their advertisers with gems like 'America's Got Talent' and 'Deal or No Deal'. At least CBS and ABC are kind enough to serve up reruns and bizarre Japanese game show rip offs.

Best Title to a Blog Post...Ever

No, really.
http://thesuperficial.com/2008/08/kerri_walsh_wants_aids_to_butt.php

Unfamiliar with The Superficial? Put down your copy of the Wall Street Journal, ya square!

Damn You Musical Theater...This Time You've Gone Too Far!!

First there were musicals. I enjoy the catchy tunes and the fact that everyone knows all the words in seemingly spontaneous outbursts of song.

Then, there were "Juke Box" musicals. I cringe at the thought of which band will whore themselves out to Broadway - I'm thinking we're probably going to see a Rolling Stones musical sometime soon. (exception: I have hope that the Flaming Lips will blow our collective minds when they turn Yoshimi into a musical. That said, I think it will be unlike anything yet to hit the stage.)

Now, the Athleti-bio musical. David Beckham's life (so far) is going to transformed into an all-singing, all-dancing Broadway spectacular. Move over Godspell, David Beckham: The Theater of Dreams is going to be fueled by "gospel like rock" and will chronicle his rise to stardom and his spicy (get it?! yay) romance with Posh. I'm sure it will include his move to LA (backed by the song "You say soccer, I say football") and his ever changing hairstyles ("I feel pretty").

Mark Archer (of In the Company of Men fame) is in pitch mode to get this steaming pile of musical on the stage in London's West End. I imagine every fame-seeking stage hopeful will be doing sit ups and bleaching their hair from now until casting is announced.

What happened to original stories and music again? I guess if it's dead in Hollywood (thanks, remake of Miami Vice) it's dead on the stage too....

What if They Made It: Beyonce & Gwyneth Paltrow?

The new, highly controversial Feria (from Loreal Paris) ad has Beyonce roots lightened - and obviously I don't just mean her hair. Not only is she Michael Jackson-ized, but is that even her nose? None of Beyonce's people have issued a comment, and I doubt we should even expect one. Unfortunately, her picture is essentially Loreal's to manipulate (as is usual for these kind of contracts). If they weren't paying her $4.7 Million for about 10 days of work, she might be a little more vocal about it. For that much cash I'd let them make me look like this.

But how did this get through the art department? Didn't the creative director say "hey, isn't this supposed to be super star soul sister Beyonce - not the newest cast member of Desperate Housewhites?" Loreal denies changing the color. Is it a case of bad photoshop skills (like when you start fiddling with the color values so much that you think it looks great - but in reality you and all your friends look bright red)? Doubtful. Loreal is kidding themselves if they expect us to think they don't manipulate their advertising. By now, we've all seen the Dove video, we know how these things go down.

Socialized Television -or- How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Olympics

The Olympics are underway - don't miss the opening ceremonies, it's the one thing on TV that doesn't get a rerun. While I typically don't like my regularly scheduled programming to be preempted, I do love me some Olympics. Operative word here being 'some.' However, Olympic coverage will be shoved down our throats, as if we were being raised for fois gras.

While I am excited to see some of the events, I am a little disappointed in the American news channels glazing over the atrocities being committed in the name of Olympic peace and love (about 1 million people displaced). Even so, I have a feeling the controversies will increase and the threat of 'bad things' happening is pretty high. I feel like this is the part where the bully gets the lead in the high school play, and the drama kids use it as an opportunity to get their revenge. So Matt Lauer and Bob Costas better be prepared to switch their fluff-mode reporting off pretty quickly.
Me? I’ll be watching some movies and trying to catch the “off” sports (ping pong? I’m there)…all while nervously awaiting a special report to preempt my preempted programming.

Get Your LOST fix!

The latest LOST ARG has officially gotten underway! As you'll soon learn, I live for LOST, and I, like many fans get totally "lost" (get it?) in the story and pseudo universe that it takes place within. Given this obsession, I get withdrawal from the series. It's like my friends all left me, and aren't coming back until February - and even then, they're only hanging out for a few weeks! Al Rocker never leaves me for months at a time (yes, I count Al as a TV friend, we're not as tight as me and Hurly, but we're buds).
LOST, in addition to being a killer show that always delivers, they help cure the no-new-episode shakes of their loyal (freaky obsessive) fans. TPTB come through with an ARG - in layman's terms: Alternative Reality Game - almost every year. The first one, in 2006, was "The Lost Experience" was high budget, high in product placement, and with a high involvement factor. I started off strong, but alas, work, home, and social life got in the way. Not only did it serve to bring it network-friendly sponsors, but developed the stories behind the Dharma Initiative and enigmatic Alvar Hanso (who, I believe, will become a key figure to the end game of this show). 2007/08 brought us the less time-intensive (and less immersive) Find 815. It was more of a story; lots of sweet interactive video, puzzles to solve, and hidden pictures to find. Find 815 helped to jolt us out of the fantasy island realm, and reminded viewers that time is continuing, with or without them. That, and introducing the idea of the rescue boat (aka Frieghties if you're a fan).
This year - Dharma Wants You! It was announced as Octagon Global Recruiting -a faux ad that aired during the season finale. The dates mentioned? Comicon in San Diego. From that event, it grew to involve more recruiting videos, quizzes, and enigmatic behind the scenes info.
The game is in the early stages, but promises to give some more info about the fall of Dharma, and the purpose behind it to begin with. I think we'll find out if the Dharma Initiative is good guys, bad guys, or an innocent victim in the Others' quest to keep control of the island (or the Ben vs Widmore debacle...which I won't confuse non-fans with). But I guess we'll have to wait and see how this one measures up (both in entertainment value, and marketing value).