Food Network - Kinda Tastes Like Chicken

Over the past five years or so - I've had a passionate affair with the Food Network. I fell head over heals one summer that I lived alone. Emeril seduced me with his flashy food antics, and Alton sealed the deal by feeding the trivia centers of my brain. Admittedly, the relationship started as a rebound romance - I was dieting hard in preparation for a beach vacation. The Food Network was there to provide hard core food porn that satisfied my needs (I love diet food, but I'm not in love with it).

Since I got hooked (in the heyday of Emeril) the network has churned out household name stars on the first-name-basis level: Rachel, Mario, Bobby, Giada.

Over the last couple years, I've become enamored with the show The Next Food Network Star. I'm a sucker for a cooking competition show, and this came perfectly timed at the heals of the Top Chef finale. However, I'm starting to question the wisdom of judges Susie Fogelson (VP Marketing) and Bob Tuschman (SVP Programming & Production). Why? Because only one of three TNFNS winners have graduated from their awarded six episode commitment to become FN stars. Guy Fieri now has a total of three hot FN series. AND, the entire Food Network lineup is starting to meld into one (more on that later).

This season, the judges seem intent on homogenizing the network. Telling contestants to both bring out their personalities, yet tone them down. Young Kelsey Nixon gets chastised for sparkling on air, while Aaron McCargo gets applauded for finally getting to her level of personality. It seems like they're looking for the contestants to meld into one person.

This homogenization process seems to be happening network-wide. All the new shows seem to be the same: well-coiffed woman, cooking at her kitchen island (almost always the 2nd stove in the room), telling stories about her kids/mom/holiday/last party, extreme closeup of food, a few tips on plating, then tasting her creation and loving it.

This year's TNFNS contestants are being forced into this mold as well. Not too exciting, not too boring, just enough to zonk out to during the day. The standouts have funky formats (Barfoot Contessa's tales from the Hamptons) good hooks (Sandra Lee promises that you too can cut corners to perfection) or giant personalities (I would hang with anyone on Ace of Cakes). I won't even get into the competition shows that are taking over (that's another post). Even the Neelys, with their food innuendos and constant flirtation, seem to be watered down for general consumption.

I just hope that whoever walks away with the title of Next Food Network Star is able to capitalize on it by getting a say in their show. They need to be allowed to carry a show on more than personality/culinary point of view. Don't Disnify the network - let the stars do their thing!